Suffer The Fury Pitch - Another Draft

Everyone dreams of being someone else, but for teenaged triplets Melinda, Teri and Alexa Reid, the sentiment takes on a more literal meaning when they are transported into other people's bodies while they sleep.

As the sisters embark on their final year of high school, each has been having vivid dreams of events and emotions happening in lives not their own – but all from a victim's point of view. Melinda feels an instant attraction to one of her classmates, but fears for the girl's safety when she begins to have nightmares involving a man's frequent visits to her bedroom. Teri becomes more withdrawn and depressed each day, but it's not until she meets another cutter at school that she realizes her problems are not hers alone. And Alexa just wants to spend more private time with her boyfriend, until she endures visions of another boy being brutally bullied by some of their schoolmates.

When one sister has a vision while she is awake, the girls learn that they are Furies – ancient creatures believed by most to be only a myth. Even more troubling is the discovery that a Fury's visions will only increase in intensity until their wrath is invoked, perpetrators are punished, and justice for the victims has been done.

SUFFER THE FURY tackles some universal issues like sex, bullying and suicide, but ultimately it is a story about family and friendship, which transcends the norm by adding a modern supernatural twist to an ancient myth come to life.

Suffer The Fury - Pitch Draft for ABNA 2013

Everyone dreams of being someone else from time to time, but for teenaged triplets Melinda, Teri and Alexa Reid, the sentiment takes on new meaning when they are transported into other people's bodies while they are asleep.

As the sisters embark on their final year of high school, each has been having vivid dreams of events and emotions happening in lives not their own – but all from the victim's point of view. Melinda feels an instant attraction to one of her classmates, but fears for the girl's safety when she begins to have nightmares involving a man's frequent visits to her friend's bedroom. Teri becomes more withdrawn and depressed each day, but it's not until she meets another cutter in her school that she realizes her problems are not hers alone. And Alexa is just happy to spend more private time with her boyfriend until she endures nightly visions of another boy being brutally bullied by several of their schoolmates.

When one sister has a vision while she is awake, the girls learn that they are Furies – ancient creatures believed by most to be nothing more than myth. Even more troubling is the discovery that a Fury's visions will only increase in intensity until their wrath is invoked, perpetrators are punished, and justice for the victims has been done.

SUFFER THE FURY tackles issues of relevance and importance to today's teens and adults alike, but ultimately it is a story about family and friendship which transcends the norm by adding a twist of supernatural flavour to an ancient myth come to life.

http://carubull.com/lorevd.html?jknk=pbsaic

Toronto Library's Writer In Residence Program

One of the many wonderful things about the Toronto Public Library system is their Writer In Residence program.  I'd never heard of it until a friend pointed me in that direction last year, just in time to get an except of Carving The Light submitted to the woman who was the WIR that time, Elizabeth Ruth.
 
The idea is that, depending on what sort of manuscripts that particular author is willing to work with, budding writers can submit the first 10 pages or so of their work, and earn a conference with a published author to receive feedback and possible tips for strengthening their manuscript.  There are usually several lectures, receptions, readings and such, as well, but I have yet to attend any of them due to time constraints and my work schedule.  One of these days, hopefully.

Last year, unfortunately, I got my submission in so late that Elizabeth didn't have enough conference slots to book me into before the end of her term.  However, she decided to go through and make notes for me, anyway, then delivered the whole thing to me in person so that we could go over it all at least for a few minutes!  Who does that?  :)

Her notes were very helpful to me, actually, and I used many of them - along with feedback from Vine Reviewers - to re-work the entire manuscript for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award when I submitted it this year.  Since Carving The Light was named as a Quarterfinalist in the contest this time around, and since the reviewer from Publisher's Weekly who read it did not seem to abhor the entire submission, I'm thinking that all of that advice put me futher along on the right track!  My plan for CTL now is to take all of the feedback I've been receiving, re-work the complete manuscript once again, and then re-issue the book in paperback and e-book versions again.  I'm taking a break from it first, though, because I want to let it sit for a bit - and because I have far too many other things to focus on at the moment!

Anyway, THIS year, the Writer In Residence is children's author Sarah Ellis.  I was deciding between sending her Ebon Black and the Seven Dryads - which is already in print - or the rather new and untitled Ellie Skye story that I wrote for NaNoWriMo last year.  I submitted pretty much right away this time, and then waited a few months before getting my conference time with Sarah booked.  Which means that, by the time I got to her office, I really had no idea which manuscript I'd decided to send her.

Luckily for moi, Sarah Ellis is a lovely person, and we had a great chat about writing and indie publishing and choosing children as a target audience before we even bothered to get down to the actual submitted piece.  I was pretty sure walking in that I'd given her the more polished Ebon piece to read, and was all ready to talk about possibly fleshing it out and making it more appropriate for young adult readers, rather than children.  So it was kind of a happy surprise to find that I'd actually given her the first chapter or so of Ellie Skye, instead!

I had to change gears, but it all came back really quickly, and we started off with the things I'd done well, before moving to the things I could work on in the next draft.  She loved Ellie as a character, and said I'd gotten her voice just right for a 12-year-old girl.  She also loved Teddy the stuffed dog as a character, because I'd infused him with all the personality that he has in Ellie's eyes.  And some of my imagery was unique and well done, to boot, so apparently I am off to a good start.

We discussed narration, and I told her about how I'd written Ellie so quickly (50K words in 30 days) and that I'd done Ebon not long before, so I struggled with keeping Ellie's close 3rd person voice throughout, rather than slipping into the sardonic omnicient 3rd narration of Ebon's tale from time to time.  We also discussed the infamous show-don't-tell rule, and she showed me examples where I'd done each one, while giving suggestions for how to show more of the things I told.  Oh!  And she said I'd created Nana's house so concretely that she felt it was an actual house I'd known in life.  It's not, but parts of it are based in reality, and I drew a floorplan for how I thought it would actually look before i wrote about it.  That helped a lot, but I am pleased to know that the world I was creating seemed visual and real to the reader, too!

Sarah gave me the excerpt back with her typed-out notes to take with me when we were done.  Then she sat back in her chair and said, "So...what happens next?"  I spent a good 20 minutes or so going over everything that happens in the book, after which she asked detailed questions about different character motivations, how hierarchy in the alternate world was established, what the weather is like there, how time works between the two, etc.  The funny thing is, I haven't looked back at Ellie since I wrote its first draft in November 2011.  But as we talked about it, everything came rushing back to me, and I was answering her questions with the knowledge of the story that is in my head.  Now, whether that is all evident in the book, or not, remains to be seen.  But as I shook her hand and left, I felt pleased with and excited about the story again.  It's back in my mind, and now I have both the bare bones of a first draft to work with, as well as the overall tips I received from my conference with Sarah to help me move through the editing and revising process.  There is something important I think I need to write first, but Ellie is definitely still in there.  Maybe now she stands a good chance of being seen in print one day soon, as well!

A fabulous experience, this Writer In Residence program.  I'm so happy that my friend finally showed me the way!

Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award 2012 - Carving The Light is a Quarterfinalist!!!

I'm still sort of in shock, and struggling to figure out what I want to say, let alone how to say it, but I promised myself that I would do my best to get some thoughts down tonight, on the eve of this very crazy day.

Carving The Light was announced as one of the 250 General Fiction novels to advance to the Quarterfinal round of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. I can't believe it! I checked the list, saw my name, and was in the processing of refreshing the page (I was certain that I was still looking at the 2nd round list instead of the quarterfinalist list) when I got the first congratulatory note on my Facebook profile page. It was true - it was real. I'm a quarterfinalist for the first time ever!

Before I talk about my reviews this year, let me first talk about last year. It was my first time entering the contest, and I met a lot of wonderful people (many of whom I'm still in touch with), and learned SO much about the contest and the process of finding a publisher and/or agent for my work. I got help from the awesome folks on the Pitch Thread, and they helped me craft a pitch that was good enough to get me through the first round. After that, it was a matter of waiting for the excerpts to be reviewed by two different Vine reviewers to see who would advance to the Quarterfinals from there.

I was not one of them. My reviewers both pretty much hated my excerpt. They didn't like the characters, they felt the plot was slow to nonexistent...there wasn't much good to say about it at all. And I was heartbroken. More than that, I'd already lost all faith in myself, before I even wrote the book. But this was somehow more personal. I'd had faith in the characters - in the story - and now it seemed I'd been mistaken in that, too.

So I pouted a good long while, and then wrote the first draft of a whole different story to enter this year. A couple of months before ABNA submissions began, however, I slowly began to realize that Carving The Light and I weren't done with one another yet. There were still revisions to be made, and it still needed to make another run at this whole contest-entering process.

I started trying to come up with ways to change the manuscript and make it stronger. I went through all of the criticisms that had been brought up in conversation over the years, and the two reviews I received in the second round last year. I even tried to come up with ways to make it flow a little more logically for my own mind.

I focused on the beginning; on making the excerpt strong. I wanted to make it move faster, and have the tension build for the reader as much as it was building for the Collins girls as the weekend grew closer. I made the time between the death of their parents and the present events, so everyone is younger. This benefits Trick the dog especially well. I was also told to focus on the present more in the beginning, so i moved some flashbacks either further back in the story, or took them out all together. I tried to lose most of the adverbs in the excerpt (though I suspect they are still plentiful in the rest of the manuscript). I tried to make Sarah stronger and less willing to just accept all of Sam's crap all the time. I think there were other things, but I am too distracted to remember now. Suffice it to say, I tried to create a stronger beginning, and am now wishing I'd spent more time on the rest of the manuscript, since now it's all going to be read from start to finish, and by Publisher's Weekly, of all things! Egad.

Additionally, there were some small but wonderful changes in the ABNA process this year. One is that the Vine reviewers were also given a copy of the pitch to read with the excerpt, which would give them a chance to see where the story was going once the beginning pages had been read. Another was that the reviewers were able to list their preferred genres to read, which means there was at least a minor chance that our manuscripts would end up in the hands of readers who wouldn't hate them from the opening lines.

Based on my experience from last year, all of this made me hopeful that my reviews would be a little better this time around. I used the same pitch to get through the first round again, and then basically just prayed quietly that my literary baby wouldn't be quite as chewed up this year.

NONE of that made me think I'd make it through this round to the quarterfinals, though! I mean, I didn't even talk about it! I didn't tell anyone how nervous i suddenly was this morning, waiting for the lists to go up. I couldn't mention how many times I checked the boards to commisserate with my fellow 2nd round authors as we all waited together. And even when I actually saw my name on the list, it wasn't until after I'd received my first congratulations (Fielder, that was all you, so you know) that I verbalized the impossible. Somehow, Carving The Light had made it through, and had become an ABNA Quarterfinalist at last!

I hadn't even bothered to look ahead to what this round would entail. I had to go back and read the rules to find out what's supposed to happen now. And, admittedly, part of me want to check AGAIN to be sure that I made it through before I even post this. However, I have received my two Vine reviews, and I will post both of them below. Also, once everything has been set up, you'll be able to read everyone's excerpts and reviews and leave comments of your own here.

I've read the reviews  below through a couple of times, and I am still having trouble sorting out my thoughts. I am grateful, I am relieved, I am eager to make even more changes (though I will wait for Publisher's Weekly to give their two cents first), and I am suddenly a bit panicked at the idea that I may have to revise and re-issue Carving The Light in softcover and e-book versions a third time to keep everything consistent. Sigh.

But that is for another time. For now, please feel free to read and comment on the reviews I received below, and once the Amazon links are up, I highly encourage everyone to go through and read some of the other excerpts that made it through this year. You can even read mine, since I don't think I let anyone read what I actually submitted to ABNA, now that I think about it! ;)

There are a lot of wonderful indie authors out there, and not all of them made it through to this round. I am honoured to be among them all, however, because just entering takes an enormous amount of courage and determination, and as peers and friends, I don't think I could ask for any better. I am a very lucky Sue, indeed.

ABNA Expert Reviewer
What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?

The story line, the writing, the characters, the situations each girl finds herself in, all are strong and firm aspects of this excerpt. The book seems to be headed in a good and definite direction. The plot is interesting and held my attention. The characters are people a reader would care about and want to travel on their journey with them.

What aspect needs the most work?

Honestly, no weak points were evident to this reader.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

This reader would love to read this book. This excerpt had my rapt attention and I was sorry when it ended. I wanted more -- !!!

This would be a great book club read. This is definitely a book for women. Each character has a story to share that most women can relate to.

There is a strong sense of family and love, which just adds sweetness to the pot. However, this book has depth and isn't some sunshine and lollipop read.

　

ABNA Expert Reviewer

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?

Three sisters, each harboring secrets from the others, are preparing to meet for Thanksgiving. Good start on a story with infinite possibilities. Thanksgiving is always a hotbed of family intrigue, and this one promises to have more than most.

What aspect needs the most work?

It's a quirk of mine, but I like knowing where events are taking place. Reference is made to plane travel, to weather issues, but I'd like a little more specificity with regard to locations.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

Three sisters who have had to be unusually close due to the sudden death of their parents 15 years earlier, plan their Thanksgiving reunion. Each is harboring secrets of their own, worrying about whether truths will be revealed. Each is so self absorbed that she doesn't realize the other two are holding their own earth shaking revelations. The reader is teased about what the final outcome will be, and since the younger two have secrets of exceeding relevance, it pricks interest in the outcome. The writing is smooth, and the excerpt ended with me wanting more.

My Week With Marilyn: A Non-Review

I really have no desire to review this film - there's nothing I could say that hasn't been said already a thousand times over. I feel the need, instead, to convey my personal experience while watching the movie, and what it meant to me.

My love affair with Marilyn Monroe began years and years ago, when I was in my teens. I'd read an article by an author who'd given a possible take on the star's final hours from her own point of view, and her story kind of got inside me and never went away. I feel fiercely protective of her and her image to this day, and it is for that reason that I hesitated to even see this film. I love Michelle Williams (I'd even cast her in the film adaptation of my first book, if I could), and I could tell from the trailers that she did a good job being Marilyn - but would she do as well portraying Norma Jeane? I knew the tale was told from yet another man's perspective on the icon, and I was not at all sure that I wanted to see what he had to say. I wasn't sure I even cared.

When I found out that the film would soon be released on DVD and Blu-Ray, I decided that it would make the perfect first order through Rogers On Demand for me. I could watch it in the privacy of my own home, and it would be cheaper than seeing it in a theatre, anyway, just in case I wasn't happy with what I saw. But then I started thinking: Marilyn died a decade before I was born. I've only seen a handful of her films, and none of them on the big screen. It occured to me that this might be my first opportunity to sit in a dark theatre and see her larger than life - the way people saw her at the height of her career. Even knowing it wasn't really her, I was suddenly consumed by the desire to fall in love with Marilyn the way the rest of the world had at the time; the way she'd created herself to be seen - on the silver screen.

So, on easily the nicest day we've seen so far this year, I made my way through the sunshine and crowded streets to the small theatre near my apartment that I knew was still screening the film.  I settled in with my popcorn and soda in the dark with about 5 other people, and waited for my experience to begin.

Television Through The Ages - Or, My Ages, At Least!

 I guess I've always been a bit of an outsider.  Not in a deliberate, cool, rebellious kind of way, but in a sort of sad, distant, my-passions-lie-elsewhere sort of sense.  I spent a lot of time alone reading, writing and daydreaming, or playing with my brother and/or the few good friends we had around us while growing up.  Sometimes, my passions were shared by those around me, but - more often than not - I was kind of loving things on my own.  Usually it was difficult (if not impossible) to find another living soul who loved something the same way I did, or with the same intensity.

 While I still mostly feel that to be true now, I find that the internet has brought geeks together in ways never seen before, and I generally feel less alone in my enthusiasm for things.  Because apparently - no matter how remote and unheard of something I love may be to the populace at large - there is at least one other person out there in the world who shares my giddy fondness for things I thought I was alone in loving.  It's really just a matter of finding those precious few.

 I've been thinking a lot lately on television shows - both those presently watched and those long gone.  It's likely that my becoming involved with The Mind Reels had a lot to do with it, actually, because part of our reason for creating the blog was to give voice to things we were loving that didn't seem to be getting much coverage in our social and internet circles.  I finally have a venue in which to talk about the things that currently have my attention, but I was thinking - why not dive into some of those nearly-forgotten passions of my youth?  Why not talk about all of the TV shows I watched that really meant something to me personally, regardless of whether or not anyone else on the planet was watching them at the time, too?

 I mean, I certainly grew up on TV.  We always had one in the house, I think.  Though we didn't always have cable, that's for sure!  Ah, the antenna days of 3 channels, or so.  Depending on the weather.  Despite having so little to choose from, we actually managed to watch a lot of TV as kids.  All the usual stuff...Flintstones, Looney Tunes, Leave It To Beaver, Little Rascals, the Wonderful World of Disney every Sunday, and a plethora of Saturday morning cartoons - some of which you'd know, some of which you may never have heard of (or maybe forgotten).  I remember having vague kid crushes on Loretta Swit on M*A*S*H* and Erin Gray on Buck Rogers.  The Bionic Woman and Wonder Woman.  I would go on to have MANY more crushes on TV characters after those first early days of my existence.  Several in particular would go on to haunt my consciousness for years after - some even to this day.

 I think now, when I watch something new on TV, part of me is still looking for that undefinable spark of magic in the stories and characters I see on screen, that will get inside me and take hold.  I'll spend time later, perhaps, talking about the more current incarnations, but I think that only time and distance can really work as an indicator to how strongly things will continue to resonate with me once they are gone, so for now, I will talk a bit about some of the things I loved to watch most when I was growing up.  You can check them out below!

Introducing Some New and Expanded Content!!!

For quite awhile now, I've been toying with the idea of bringing together more of my creative endeavors into one place.  I intended for this to be solely a blog about writing, but I've encountered a few problems with that model.  One is that I find it hard to find time to write, let alone come up with a blog post about the process, on any sort of regular basis.  Another is that I don't usually wish to share my ideas and drafts before they are formed better in my mind and - preferably - on published paper.  But then looking back on the process and trying to come up with something to say about it all after the fact isn't the easiest thing, either.  By then I will have moved on to some other project or two, as well!

And speaking of other projects, I've got a lot more on the go lately than just writing my next amazing novel.  All of which is what brought me to the decision I've now made - to join together all of my little side projects into one incredibly well-rounded blog.  A place I can pull together all of my ideas and wonderings and exciting pieces of news, in a reader-friendly venue, so that it can all be shared with as many of you as possible, and maybe even pick up a follower or two along the way!

So sit back and take a look at what all is coming up for your reading, viewing and listening pleasure from now on, after the jump below!  :)

Fictional Characters on Twitter!!!

Now you can follow a couple of your favourite characters from Carving The Light and Ebon Black and the Seven Dryads on Twitter!

Look for the Collins sisters' loyal dog, Trick at @TrickTheDog, and follow Ebon's favourite Dryad, Pam, at @PamDryad.

And spread the word so they both get more followers!  At the very least, it's a fun waste of time!  ;)

Until soon,

SAM

FREE E-BOOKS!!!

Both of my books are available electronically for FREE at an Amazon near you, but only for this long weekend!  After Monday, February 20, 2012, both will skyrocket in price up to a whopping $0.99 each!  :)

So download your free copies of each today, and tell everyone you know to do the same!

Spread the word, spread the love.  Below are links to the books on Amazon.com, but both are available at Amazon sites around the world, so you can use whichever one you have a regular account with!

SAM

Carving The Light

Ebon Black and the Seven Dryads